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“When are you going to move to a bigger apartment?” “Are you sure you’ll fit in here?” “What a small storage room!” With just a few words, your years of effort aimed at buying your own apartment become insignificant, and the joys of buying it disappear. This means that the person devaluing your achievements and purchases is using a defense mechanism that helps them save themselves and avoid contact with intolerable feelings. For example, if it’s difficult to feel happy for a person or admit that you envy them, it’s easier to offend that person and devalue all of their efforts, thus proving to yourself that there’s nothing to envy.
